In the past couple of weeks spider has come to visit a few times. It’s not been in one of her more cute and cuddly forms, either. What’s been showing up is quite large and gnarly. After a chat with a friend and a little bit of introspection, Spider reminds me of all the things that I’m not seeing.
Connecting with the silence between chaotic events is helpful. However, there are things that I know and see without doing all of that. When I am just open present and doing nothing, I see and know powerfully. It’s who I am. However Spider is reminding me of all I am choosing not to see. I’m choosing not to see because what I see hurts.
There’s a great deal of intuition I’ve shut off because I’m overwhelmed by pain that isn’t mine. Some of it belongs to people close to me. Some of it is in the air. I can’t deny that it hurts deeply to know that so many around me are in pain. I can’t touch, absorb, or transmute this pain because it’s not mine. This hurts because transforming pain into joy is what I do.
So, what do I do now? I have no damn idea! I just know that I need to do something different. Being shut down sucks!
Thankfully there is space today to connect more with Spider and My Ancestors. I’m sure someone has something interesting to say <3
Until next time.. take precious care!
This week, my challenge is to become more rooted into my essential self….um whatever that is. The trees around me describe it as their treeness. That description makes sense and confuses me at the same time. I’m human. There’s all these things I ascribe to who I am. When I think of Jeannette Lancien, I think sleepy Mother who laughs and cooks a great deal. I think of a loving wife and good friend. There are millions of things I think about until I am gently reminded that those are things I do. They are not who I am. If all those things were to change, I’d still be me–that is my essential self. It’s not what I do. It’s who I be.
I asked how do I root into the essence of who I am? I am told to breathe, be still and smile. Who I am will bubble up to the surface. I must admit that answer sounds much more like my Father than the trees, but let’s see what happens <3.
This week my challenge is to slow down and root/ground into my essential self. Before getting out of bed and before preparing meals, I’ll take a couple of deep breathes into my belly and see what bubbles up. When I can feel myself, I will move from there
Let’s see what comes up <3
Oh yeah about last weeks eating challenge. It wasn’t too terrible, but it wasn’t great either. I have idyllic memories of being twenty something and vegan in the South of France. My memories and the present moment are two different things. Vegan bullshit is now abundant in France. I’m also not just cooking for myself and my husband (who eats just about anything with gratitude) anymore. Sadly, my kids are not into eating only veggies and don’t eat unless I’m eating what they are eating with them. So… eating better..meh. I was able to cut out milk products and limit the gluten. I’m hearing more; which was the goal. I’m overall satisfied but there is always more work to do.
Let’s see how next week goes!
Welcome to the Back to the Earth Connection Challenge! My intention is to enjoy a number of simple, sweet actions that will strengthen my connection to Mother Earth. I’ll give myself extra bonus points for things that are kid friendly 🙂
As inspired by Hedgewitch Book of Days, the focus for this week is offerings of gratitude. Mother Earth supports us in a myriad of ways; seen and unseen. This week I’d like to focus on making simple offerings of gratitude.
Today, I’ve put out little treats for the helpful hidden folks. Tomorrow I’ll share my breakfast with the ancestors on my altar. Other ideas that have bubbled up are: picking up trash where I see it, pouring water out in gratitude to the Earth, verbally thanking Mother Earth every morning, and offering gratitude energetically. Offering gratitude is a great way to reconnect with Mother Earth. When life spins too fast it’s easy to forget our connection to Mother Earth. When you take a minute to thank Mother Earth, you reaffirm your connection to Mother Earth.
Happy Reconnecting! Enjoy the Full Moon! See you next week!
Ever since the rodents showed up, I’ve been on a bit of a tear. My altar has expanded. There are more altars around the house. I’ve recommenced cleaning and clearing practices that I haven’t used since my time in France. My yoga practice has restarted in earnest. And yet something feels off about my spiritual practice.
I’ve noticed that I’ve been buying all these things lately: semiprecious gemstones for griding the house and amplifying certain energies, statues, different colored candles for spells, lots of books and all sorts of herbs. Oddly enough, many of these things used to be with me. But when I moved to France, I let most of my spiritual accoutrement go.
Although it feels good to be “back” and to have the things I miss working with, I still wonder about the need to possess so much stuff. Is my connection to the Divine dependent upon whether I own a statue of Krishna, or is Krishna in my heart? Do I want to court and remain deeply connected to energies and entities that demand constant upkeep and worship that I am not sure I am always able to give? Did I mention the many altars in the house?
When I make offerings to my ancestors they often want me to tone it down. They remind me they don’t need so much and that we need to keep some for ourselves. They know the struggle of budgetary constraints with children. At the same time, I love them and can’t help but want to give. So I usually do.
However, my Grandmother (Mama G) has me wondering whether I am confusing actual spirituality with the trappings of consumerism. Having all the things really doesn’t matter, she offers. She says what’s in my heart and how I allow that to move me is what’s most important. I feel the truth of this in my bones and wonder whether most of my recent purchases come from guidance or a feeling of disconnection.
I mean, if I really truly felt secure in my connection, would I need to buy all the things? Maybe not, or maybe so. Who knows. I guess the point is that having all the things don’t bring me any closer to God. God is already within my heart. You can’t get much closer than there. I just need to relax and remember before I end up on Amazon.
Hope eclipse season is being good to you <3 Until next time
So, I have some questions…
What do I do when I realize that the ways in which my husband “hurts” my feelings is more about what I’m not doing for myself than what he’s not doing for me? Suddenly, I can see how most of my issues with him have always been about my lack of self regard. He’s shown me how to love me better.
What do I do when I realize that many of the things that I need to do for my own sanity I never learned how to do? I see resentment at the boys and frustration with Motherhood starting to raise it’s ugly head. How can I really resent them when I am busy hiding behind them? Mothering is a thing, but my work comes easy to me. I can do much more than I am currently doing without too much trouble.
What I am I supposed to do now that I realize that I am parenting the boys the way I wished that I was parented? I tell one truths he may not be ready for. The other one I won’t let out of my sight. I’m not sure three year olds are ready to understand colorism and the other one needs to learn how to nap alone. Why am I not considering who they are at the soul level (er whatever that shit really means) more? Meh.
It’s beautiful to realize these things, but I’m not quite sure what to do with them. How do I apply this wisdom? Do I pray to Mother Earth for help and then look appropriate flower essences? Is this something my ancestors can help me with? Can I magic my way out of this? Should I search for appropriate soul pieces from previous lifetimes to help or contact my future self? Damn, what do I actually have time, money and energy to do?
*Sigh* I have no idea what to do. All I know is that the eighth month old is fussing while the toddler is engaging in water play. No one has had a nap. Hopefully the calvary (hubby) is on his way home soon.
Hooray for eclipse season…kinda 🙂
Take precious care