And so I ate it

Our move from Bowie, Maryland to St. Maur des Fosses France has kicked my ass in so many ways. I cannot even begin to describe it.  Instead, I will describe how I know that I’m doing better.

1.  I’m eating more and more of my favorite foods. No, not the sugary foods that I wake up at 3am to eat by myself. I’m talking about the foods that bring and keep me fully into the present moment because I love them so much <3 The foods that I love and the boys seem to love too.

2. I’m back to my daily herbal concoctions. If I’m not drinking something that smells green and has a story, I’m not myself. Nettles and I have been hanging out lately. It’s glorious.

3.  I’m serious about getting my greens in. At some point, a switch flipped and I started enjoying greens. The f-ed up thing is, I can’t find them here. So, I’ve started drinking green food smoothies. It’s not as fun as collards and turnips. I gotta do what I gotta do though.

There are other indicators including better sleep and weight loss. But the difference in my eating habits is what really grabs me.

Let’s see where this leads <3

Have a delicious week <3

J

 

Practicing Integrity: Checking in

This week, my goal is to check in with myself more. I often beat myself up for not hearing my emotions, but I don’t really make great efforts to stop and hear them. I can notice when I am eating my emotions, or when I am projecting them. By then it’s a bit too late. I don’t want to continue to play catch up with myself.

To create more space to hear my emotions this week I’ll focus on:

1.  Remaining fully grounded and present in my body. When I can tangibly feel my emotions I often respond quickly and effectively.

2. Creating moments of quiet check in. This is a good opportunity to  introduce the boys to meditation. Even just taking a few deep breaths can help connect us to ourselves.

3. Take a moment before beginning to eat to check in. I often whiz through meal times when they are a great opportunity to fully engage the body <3

4. Go to the bathroom more and breathe deeply while I’m in there 🙂

Let’s see what happens next.

 

A tree said….

One day, A tree said that I needed to root and ground into my treeness. The idea made not a damn lick of sense at the time, but slowly grew on me. It’s a beautiful thing to stay rooted and grounded in the essence of who you are; allowing your essence to blossom forth as your expression. It’s an ideal way of being.

How to remain connected with and rooted into my essence never seemed clear to me. Upon expressing my confusion, I was told to drink more water. Water would teach me how to stay in myself no matter what surrounds me. I drank water. I better understood the tree’s advice but, I was still having trouble physically applying the wisdom I was given.

Then shit happened and I fell off the face of the Earth 🤷🏿‍♀️

Three months later I feel closer to my treeness. The missing part was my emotions as a com link.

Emotions help me stay in integrity. They speak from the core of my being; helping me understand what needs to stay, what needs to go, and what I need more of. I cannot practice treeness- staying rooted and grounded in the essence of who I am without honoring my own internal communication system.

Das it. I just need to hear myself and honor my emotions.

As I honor my own emotions, it feels easier to accept others without being responsible for their happiness. What other people do is about them and their emotions. It’s not about me. What matters is that I remain rooted and grounded in myself. Whatever pops up I can navigate by being honest with myself and having faith in Mother Nature.

Honoring my emotions seems to allow for my needs always being met. Since I can be honest with my about what I need I can more easily receive it. It may not come as I expect but my needs are and always have been met.

Reconnection Challenge: The French Edition

Now, that we’re kinda settled, it’s time to reconnect with French Mother Nature <3. Feel free to follow me as I spend the next couple of weeks building a harmonious relationship with Local Green.

Wait, what does a harmonious relationship with the Green mean? 

When I talk about The Green, I speak of the entirety of Nature that surrounds includes me: the lovely trees that whisper advice while I play with the boys, the beautiful flowers that giggle at me, the Marne (the local river) who reminds me to keep flowing. I’m also including the helpful hidden folk who take care of our living space and remind me to pick up trash. I’m also speaking of the local kitty committee, the birds and many other beings surrounding us.

Why seek a harmonious relationship with the green? 

I feel disconnected from it. Honestly, I don’t think I can function without drawing closer to Nature. It soothes me and brings balance that I can’t seem to find any other way. Plus, Nature seems to have things pretty much figured out.

What do I expect this relationship to look like?

Unity, harmony and lots of shit talking. But seriously, I want to make choices that support Nature and myself in thriving. I’ve felt a space in the green where everything is in harmony. I want to expand that space so humanity knows it has a choice and that it can recognize itself as part of a larger intelligent being.

Okay, so how do you start?

Haha! Wherever the trees tell me to <3

See you next week!

 

 

Connection Challenge: Week 4

I’ll be honest. This week really kicked my ass. Grounding into Mother Earth through my feet wasn’t too hard. At least once a day, I’d check in with my feet. Then, I’d inhale down into Mother Earth and exhale back into my feet. This practice was great for bringing me back to the present moment and connecting me to my body.

Now that I’m in my body, I’m challenged by a few things:

  1. I really need to relax. The more I continued to breathe into Mother Earth, the more I realized how tightly wound I am. I love the idea of going to relax somewhere, but that ain’t happening. Returning to a more vigorous yoga practice and laying off the caffeine is a good start.
  2. I need to be more receptive. Even my breath is a bit aggressive. It leads me back to the fact that I really need to calm down.
  3. It’s time to move back to France. I felt in my bones that something big was coming. It no longer feels right here. I didn’t expect France to call us in. France is wonderful, but I love living here. I don’t want to go. However, I know it’s for the best.

Since deciding to move back to France, my eating has gotten a little out of control. I am eating my resistance. I’d rather not gain all my postpartum weight back. Next week I will focus on a grounding and calming yoga practice while challenging myself to connect to Mother Earth through mindful eating. Once a day, I’ll check in with how I am feeling before I decide what to eat. Then, I choose what to eat based on my emotions. I’ll match my moods to healthy foods. It’ll be entertaining <3

Until next week, Take Precious Care!

J

 

 

Connection Challenge: Week 3

This challenge has been a bit harder than I expected. It’s easy to carry an intention for a day. The real challenge is staying laser focused on my intention through out the week when there is so much to do.

For this week, I’d like to do something more subtle. This week, I want to focus on my feet. My feet keep the rest of my body grounded and connected to Mother Earth. Finding little ways to care for them and ensure that I am engaging them properly feels like a gentle way to deepen my connection with Mother Earth. Not to mention, since my feet are always with me it’s easier to check in with them—even when I am with the boys.

So, for this week, my goal is to ensure that my weight is evenly spread between both feet and that I am engaging them mindfully. I want to continuously feel the flow of energy down into the Earth when I exhale and into my feet when I inhale. My intuition often spreads out around me like a cape, but I can feel things though my feet. It’d be nice to sharpen this skill a bit. I also intend to do something nice for my feet; like a foot bath.

Last week’s focus on yard work was helpful. I trimmed an overgrown tree in the yard and realized that I was very much like that tree. In my own eagerness to find light, I occasionally confuse and stunt my growth. The tree reminded me the importance of letting go what no longer works and being flexible.

I also ended up finding some plants knows for attracting fairies 🙂 Foxglove was just planted yesterday and I hope to get snapdragon in the ground this week.

I’m curious to see what comes up next.

Until next time.. take precious care.

What’s My Magic For….

I often ponder what the hell I am here to do. I’ve always felt like I needed to be of some type of service. My challenge in life has been figuring out what service really is. I’ve got all this magic, what is it really for? What am supposed to be doing with it?

When I was younger, my magic seemed to be for making my dreams come true. This worked until I realized that the dreams I was living weren’t really my dreams at all. They belonged to someone else. I wasn’t being honest with myself. So my magic became about self discovery and reclaiming myself. I practiced lots of yoga, did lots of energy work and played with herbs. All this resulted in finding a place where I could be of service to the community and to friends. I understood what I brought to the table and relished sharing it. Unfortunately, life shifted and I lost myself. It was hard to let go of who I was because I didn’t know who I was becoming…. until I became pregnant. Suddenly, my magic wasn’t just for me anymore. It was a gift to those share; which brings me to the present moment.

My magic, Mama magic, is love. It’s love that protects, nurtures, comforts, harmonizes, cares for those in need.

 

Until the next time, be good to you

J

 

Post Eclipse August 2017 Solar Eclipse

What an eclipse! This is the first time I literally felt an eclipse. My arm hairs stood on end and I grew physically agitated. It was hard to sit still. Thankfully the eclipse peaked during the boys nap time. So, I was able to get a little meditation in. 24hours later a few things have shifted. Here’s what’s shaking on this end.

1.The past is officially behind. Thanks to honeysuckle flower essence and a few hard truths, I’ve let go of the tendency to live in the past and isolate myself in the present moment. When I say that I let it go, I mean it’s gone. I can only feel a trace of the tendency.

2. The right side of my body is now intuitively functional. I usually feel and hear with my left. My right ear was buzzing this morning. However it seems that my right side perceives different things than my left.

3. My feet have become intuitively perceptive. I can sense or see what’s in the Earth below me. This morning, my feet could actually feel what was in the Earth below me. This is an exciting development. There are tons of burrowing animals in the yard. I can wait to practice sensing their burrows with my feet 🙂

4. The proverbial “veil” is thinner. It feels easier to access other realms on this planet. It also feels like there is more crossover to help humanity transition out of crazy. I always knew we weren’t alone here, but I feel that truth more than ever.

Other post eclipse highlights include children actually sleeping, sicknesses clearing out and better communication between my hubby and I. Oh yeah and I actually feel a sense of excitement. For the first time in a long time I am excited about my life.

I pray that whatever has unfolded for you, has done so in a gentle and kind manner.

Until next time… take precious care,

J

Consumerism vs Connection

Ever since the rodents showed up, I’ve been on a bit of a tear. My altar has expanded. There are more altars around the house. I’ve recommenced cleaning and clearing practices that I haven’t used since my time in France. My yoga practice has restarted in earnest. And yet something feels off about my spiritual practice.

I’ve noticed that I’ve been buying all these things lately: semiprecious gemstones for griding the house and amplifying certain energies, statues, different colored candles for spells, lots of books and all sorts of herbs. Oddly enough, many of these things used to be with me. But when I moved to France, I let most of my spiritual accoutrement go.

Although it feels good to be “back” and to have the things I miss working with, I still wonder about the need to possess so much stuff. Is my connection to the Divine dependent upon whether I own a statue of Krishna, or is Krishna in my heart? Do I want to court and remain deeply connected to energies and entities that demand constant upkeep and worship that I am not sure I am always able to give? Did I mention the many altars in the house?

When I make offerings to my ancestors they often want me to tone it down. They remind me they don’t need so much and that we need to keep some for ourselves. They know the struggle of budgetary constraints with children. At the same time, I love them and can’t help but want to give. So I usually do.

However, my Grandmother (Mama G) has me wondering whether I am confusing actual spirituality with the trappings of consumerism. Having all the things really doesn’t matter, she offers. She says what’s in my heart and how I allow that to move me is what’s most important. I feel the truth of this in my bones and wonder whether most of my recent purchases come from guidance or a feeling of disconnection.

I mean, if I really truly felt secure in my connection, would I need to buy all the things? Maybe not, or maybe so. Who knows. I guess the point is that having all the things don’t bring me any closer to God. God is already within my heart. You can’t get much closer than there. I just need to relax and remember before I end up on Amazon.

Hope eclipse season is being good to you <3 Until next time

J

 

 

Learning from the Trees

Today was a bad Mama day. I woke up feeling all sorts of surly and wasn’t quite sure how we’d make it through. So, I did what I usually do on these days. I took the kids to the woods.

While chasing the eldest, I wondered how the trees did it. How do the trees keep standing strong with so much going on around them. Squirrels run through their branches. Vines grow all over them. Rabbits and other small rodents build nests at their feet. Insects eat their leaves. Birds peck at them. Parasitic plants grow all over their trunks and sometimes encircle their roots. Humans carve craziness into their trunks. Yet somehow, every day they manage to keep reaching for the sun; even when it’s cloudy. It all makes me feel quite inept as a human being.

Something in The Green heard me and answered my query. It told me, all nature just is. When I accept the nature of all being and allow things to be as they are, I will be able to stand through anything as well– until I don’t stand anymore. When I am no longer standing that will just be too. My problem, or rather what causes my confusion is the expectation that Motherhood is to be a certain way at any given moment. Things do not have to be any particular way. Everything just is.

Nope still not ready for that answer. I have many many many expectations about Motherhood and who I am supposed to be as a Mother. The Green has a great point though. There is peace in accepting things as they are. I wonder what I value more: peace or the pain of self judgment and censure. At the end, I’ll choose what I value more. I am realizing that I have all I need to engage what I most value– which include trees.

I love the trees <3

Hope things are being good to you.. Until next time

J