Practical Mama Majic

I love practicing magic. I love harmonizing with plants, crystals and astrological phenomena to bring more love into life.  My challenge these days is finding time, energy and space to do so. It’d be beautiful to plan rituals in harmony with the moon, seasons and current events. My mind is buzzing with things I’d love to do. However, my inspirations don’t often manifest; which makes me sad.

There isn’t much time for leisurely planning magic. I am busy with play dates, pre school, little folk deciding they ain’t sleeping, cooking, cleaning and whatever else needs attention today. When there is time, I don’t have the energy.

Even though I want to be doing more, I can see that now is not the time. Now seems like a time for remembering, learning and researching. The three year old heads into preschool this year. Things won’t be like this forever. So I’d be wise to make the most of this time. Here is what I’ve been doing to incorporate a little magic into daily life.

  1. Candle Magic
  2. Herbal floor washes
  3. Prayer
  4. Grounding and connecting to Mother Earth every morning

I can be thankful for opportunities to practice skills today that will build tomorrow. Or I can be surly. I’ll probably do both <3

Until next time, Take precious care,

Jeannette

Post Eclipse August 2017 Solar Eclipse

What an eclipse! This is the first time I literally felt an eclipse. My arm hairs stood on end and I grew physically agitated. It was hard to sit still. Thankfully the eclipse peaked during the boys nap time. So, I was able to get a little meditation in. 24hours later a few things have shifted. Here’s what’s shaking on this end.

1.The past is officially behind. Thanks to honeysuckle flower essence and a few hard truths, I’ve let go of the tendency to live in the past and isolate myself in the present moment. When I say that I let it go, I mean it’s gone. I can only feel a trace of the tendency.

2. The right side of my body is now intuitively functional. I usually feel and hear with my left. My right ear was buzzing this morning. However it seems that my right side perceives different things than my left.

3. My feet have become intuitively perceptive. I can sense or see what’s in the Earth below me. This morning, my feet could actually feel what was in the Earth below me. This is an exciting development. There are tons of burrowing animals in the yard. I can wait to practice sensing their burrows with my feet 🙂

4. The proverbial “veil” is thinner. It feels easier to access other realms on this planet. It also feels like there is more crossover to help humanity transition out of crazy. I always knew we weren’t alone here, but I feel that truth more than ever.

Other post eclipse highlights include children actually sleeping, sicknesses clearing out and better communication between my hubby and I. Oh yeah and I actually feel a sense of excitement. For the first time in a long time I am excited about my life.

I pray that whatever has unfolded for you, has done so in a gentle and kind manner.

Until next time… take precious care,

J

Consumerism vs Connection

Ever since the rodents showed up, I’ve been on a bit of a tear. My altar has expanded. There are more altars around the house. I’ve recommenced cleaning and clearing practices that I haven’t used since my time in France. My yoga practice has restarted in earnest. And yet something feels off about my spiritual practice.

I’ve noticed that I’ve been buying all these things lately: semiprecious gemstones for griding the house and amplifying certain energies, statues, different colored candles for spells, lots of books and all sorts of herbs. Oddly enough, many of these things used to be with me. But when I moved to France, I let most of my spiritual accoutrement go.

Although it feels good to be “back” and to have the things I miss working with, I still wonder about the need to possess so much stuff. Is my connection to the Divine dependent upon whether I own a statue of Krishna, or is Krishna in my heart? Do I want to court and remain deeply connected to energies and entities that demand constant upkeep and worship that I am not sure I am always able to give? Did I mention the many altars in the house?

When I make offerings to my ancestors they often want me to tone it down. They remind me they don’t need so much and that we need to keep some for ourselves. They know the struggle of budgetary constraints with children. At the same time, I love them and can’t help but want to give. So I usually do.

However, my Grandmother (Mama G) has me wondering whether I am confusing actual spirituality with the trappings of consumerism. Having all the things really doesn’t matter, she offers. She says what’s in my heart and how I allow that to move me is what’s most important. I feel the truth of this in my bones and wonder whether most of my recent purchases come from guidance or a feeling of disconnection.

I mean, if I really truly felt secure in my connection, would I need to buy all the things? Maybe not, or maybe so. Who knows. I guess the point is that having all the things don’t bring me any closer to God. God is already within my heart. You can’t get much closer than there. I just need to relax and remember before I end up on Amazon.

Hope eclipse season is being good to you <3 Until next time

J

 

 

Learning from the Trees

Today was a bad Mama day. I woke up feeling all sorts of surly and wasn’t quite sure how we’d make it through. So, I did what I usually do on these days. I took the kids to the woods.

While chasing the eldest, I wondered how the trees did it. How do the trees keep standing strong with so much going on around them. Squirrels run through their branches. Vines grow all over them. Rabbits and other small rodents build nests at their feet. Insects eat their leaves. Birds peck at them. Parasitic plants grow all over their trunks and sometimes encircle their roots. Humans carve craziness into their trunks. Yet somehow, every day they manage to keep reaching for the sun; even when it’s cloudy. It all makes me feel quite inept as a human being.

Something in The Green heard me and answered my query. It told me, all nature just is. When I accept the nature of all being and allow things to be as they are, I will be able to stand through anything as well– until I don’t stand anymore. When I am no longer standing that will just be too. My problem, or rather what causes my confusion is the expectation that Motherhood is to be a certain way at any given moment. Things do not have to be any particular way. Everything just is.

Nope still not ready for that answer. I have many many many expectations about Motherhood and who I am supposed to be as a Mother. The Green has a great point though. There is peace in accepting things as they are. I wonder what I value more: peace or the pain of self judgment and censure. At the end, I’ll choose what I value more. I am realizing that I have all I need to engage what I most value– which include trees.

I love the trees <3

Hope things are being good to you.. Until next time

J

 

The infinite present

Man, rolling with two kids is kicking my ass lately. All the things seem to always need to be done right now. Even as I type, I fear Overlord #2 waking and demanding more milk. Somehow 40+ minute of nap time tittay ain’t enough. He’s a big boy and nurses like one. I digress.

Let’s get to the point, shall we. I have been a surly somebody the past few weeks. When I visited home and intuitively sensed what I sensed it was exhilarating and familiar. I miss spending my days seeing the unseen. I miss doing arcane magical shit. I absolutely adore it.

Before popping out son number one, I had all sorts of magical adventures. Now a days, the practice has changed. Everything is practical and tangible. It’s practical like feeling what is tunneling under the house,  discerning whether to take action and then backing my in-tuning up with research. Notice, I have not contacted Mother Earth, called anything in or threatened anything yet. I haven’t even talked to my ancestors about it. My life is so very boring 🙁

I can’t get used to how working intuitively has changed. I no longer have space to call in elements, smudge, toss herbs and pray 45 minutes before asking questions or doing shit. Ohhh the ungrouded, non practical, ethery goodness that was my spiritual practice. Now, I have to stay grounded and work in the present moment without extensive ritual. I also have to trust myself to pick up what I need to pick up.

Working in this way has made me sharper. I discern things much better and am seeing a bit more than before. However, I do miss the excitement of talking to dead folk, working with soul pieces and playing in different spaces. Such is Motherhood. With two boys, it’s helpful to actually be fully present. We’ll see what happens next.

 

Be good to yourself.

J

 

 

What’s next…conjure..maybe

I sat and listened to my relative. My eyes bulged. I started to sweat and for the first time in a while my intuition kicked in. I could sense “the green”, or various nature spirits listening in on our conversation. I noticed an entity attached to my relative looking at me and could see/feel some of the phenomena they described enduring.

Always in the know, my eldest boy decided to see what Mommy was doing. Somehow the playground with Daddy wasn’t so exciting anymore. My conversation ceased, my intuition turned off and I went back into Mommy mode. It was lunch time anyway and we could only stay here discussing this for so long. Besides, I didn’t have any of my accoutrement with me. There wasn’t much I could do in a park during the daytime anyway. My mind wasn’t blown by what my relative said, but by how long they had endured and that my obtuse ass hadn’t picked up on it earlier. We related. Why am I only hearing this now?

I spent the rest of the day spinning, planning and plotting. On the ride back to where I, my husband and sons were staying, a potion to make for my relative came to me. It should be applied to the hands and feet daily and nightly. I also pondered what could be discreetly done to clear space and whether I should covertly do some work to help the situation. I also thought about what ancestors to ask for help because there is a lot going on. For the rest of the trip I focused on holding sacred space. On the way back home my mind spun. It spun It spun It spun. When it stopped,  I was a bit in awe.

I freaked out. How did a potion come together so quickly and easily? It was like breathing. I call myself a herbalist, but I don’t really care about medicinal application (heh heh). Possessed or Cursed? I can help. Shit, I’m excited to help! Even before studying herbalism I remember asking hyssop for help with my own deposession work, which is a long entertaining story if you are into that sort of thing.

I love this part of me; this arcane self that knows and does interesting shit. The type of shit you do when God or Nature is working with you to set things right. Old black shit that runs through my veins and coils in my dreads. Shit that feels like it has been flowing through me and my folk for quite a few lifetimes. However, to be honest, this part of me scares me.

I don’t know how she fits into raising children, going to the grocery store, giving my husband blow jobs and mundane shit like that. Oddly enough though, she’s all I ever wanted to be. She laughs with plants, dances with the wind and listens to the stories of her ancestors. She does things because Mother Nature, her Grandmother/father or a Deity asked her to. She doesn’t really move for anything/one else. Fuck, I love her. She’s so self possessed. I just don’t know where she fits, comes from or how she emerges. I guess if flowers bloom in their own time, she will too.

*sigh*

Take Precious Care over there

J

 

 

What if?

What if all the stories I told myself about what love is and looks like aren’t true? I believe that in order for me to love I must abandon myself completely to it. And by abandoning myself I mean leaving myself stranded in my lover’s arms. No job, no friends, no family, no savings, no community, no sense of self. In the past, love has demanded this of me, but what if I didn’t need to love like this anymore?

If I don’t really need to be so empty to be loved and loving what do I want to fill myself with? Who do I want to be? How am I in love? Who am I, really? And how does this new self jive with all the responsibilities of my current self?

In love, I constantly find myself following the wisdom of a hurt, scared and isolated 5year old. She’ll do anything for you if you love her. This five year old is emotionally and energetically tuned in. She can tell what you are feeling, even when you can’t (usually because you don’t want to). She is fabulous at assessing needs, wants and desires. She is even creative enough to get you the experience you most want, if she likes you enough. This 5 year old has impeccable boundaries that don’t quite work with the rest of me because she is a hardass. Children are fierce and honest in ways adults choose not to be. However, but 9 times out of 10 she’s on the money in her analysis of a situation.

While my 5 year old is awesome at identifying and maintaining boundaries, she’s not so helpful in taking care of me. She asks demands that I love in detrimental ways that kept me safe when I was her age, but aren’t a good look now. The same demands she makes of me, she makes of others. As you can imagine, this doesn’t end well. She’s often hurt, disappointed and confused. Not everyone can love with the ferocity of a 5 year old. I’m no longer a little girl; even though I can’t help but act like one upon occasion.

I’m not quite sure what to do with my 5 year old self. I’ll just take my jasmine flower essence and woman up into shit. I mean jasmine is the essence of divine, intoxicating womanhood. There should be some harmony there. Me and my little five year old have been tussling for years. I don’t want to tussle anymore. I can see her wisdom. It’s just finding the right avenue for it so other parts of me, hopefully more adult parts can express.

We’ll see what happens here..

Take precious care

J

Violets in the backyard

As I clean up twigs and branches from a recently pruned bush, I note the abundance of violets in the backyard. Large heart shaped leaves and purple flowers dot the lawn, occupy space in the herb patch and form a wild little boundary between our yard and the neighbor’s yard.

I’m eyeing them. They’re eyeing me. They remind me that I love them and that I can make medicine from them. I play bashful by imagining myself getting sick because I harvested the wrong plant. They tell me to stop being so afraid of myself and my path.

I stop. Then I ponder the root of my fear. I think about how it felt to be separated from my brothers at a young age. I think about leaving New York. I remember being forced in a private school I resented being in and how I’ve spent so much time running away from that. Then I come back to the present. The violets are still staring at me; this time with some poison ivy.

Instead of holding on to the memory, I’ve held on to the fear of it happening all over again. I fear being ripped from loving community. I fear being suppressed, overwritten and forced into a way of being that ain’t me. I fear it so deeply that I keep myself basically invisible, isolated and defend my familial boundaries violently.

You know, it just might be time to do a little harvest, leave an offering of gratitude and make a little tea <3 We’ll see.

 

Take Precious Care

J

 

Update: In honor of the Taurus New Moon, I collected some violets with the intention of moving forward through my fear.

An herbalist by any other name…

One day while perusing facebook, I noticed a friend’s status. She had decided she would no longer call herself a herbalist. I love it. It’s out of the box and I agree with it. Besides, the more I study herbalism the more annoyed I become with it.

Why get annoyed?  For starters, I don’t believe in “using” plants to heal “ailments”. I find it disrespectful and arrogant. I believe in healing connection. Plants have their own consciousness. They are their own beings with free will. Just because you want a plant to heal you or someone else does not mean they will or are obligated to.

I also get annoyed when asked to ignore my intuitive connection with Nature. Materia Medica is nice. I mean, reading about plants and what they “do” and how to identify them is cute. But that’s no substitute for building a relationship with a plant–which is something that many teachers of herbalism suggest. However, it is never suggested that you trust your own connection with a plant over what they teach or what you read in millions of herbalist books. Your intuition must be validated by the authorities to be useful 😉

I am also bothered by the idea of wandering out into the forest, or roaming through rural locales to harvest plants. I’m a black southerner. I’m not doing this shit. I live in Maryland where the klan is still active. It’s not safe for me to wander everywhere all the time. And not all of us have the money, space or energy to grow our own herbs. Oddly enough, growing and making your own medicine is supposed to be a big part of what makes you an herbalist.

I also take issue with co-opting Native American traditions when many main stream herbalists aren’t Native American. It feels wrong, to me, to profit from continued genocide. If you are in America, you live on stolen land. Benefitting from those who lost what was most precious to them, feels wrong.

I’ve also been frustrated that there aren’t more resources on slave medicine. We healed ourselves as we were tortured and worked to death. Our minds, bodies and spirits were routinely broken with only the plants to put us back together. Yet, we are still here. Our ancestors obviously knew something good about Mother Nature. Why aren’t our herbal traditions (outside of Hoodoo) discussed more?

I won’t even get into herbalist guilds, or using indigenous medicines from Africa, Asia or South America. All that irks me too.

I don’t like what I have been given as a framework for herbalism. It smacks way too much of colonialism and capitalism run amok. It feels too much like giving power to structures that aren’t supportive and don’t reflect who I am.

I still love working, playing and being with the plants, but I can’t really call myself an herbalist either.

At the end of the day I am left with what I am usually left with: an intuitive connection with Mother Earth and the plants. We’ll see where this leads. Something is shifting.

 

The life of an intuitve housewife

One of the things I like most about keeping home is anchoring space; meaning creating a place that nurtures and supports loving, harmonious family.

What that has looked like over the years has changed. In France, it meant purity. Intuitively I was just waking up, so I was very sensitive. I focused my time and energy on rituals that would create more scared space. I didn’t want to constantly feel the depression of our neighbor, or the drunken violence of the street below. It was all too much. In Portland, I learned the importance remaining connected to Earth as a way of holding space. Earth taught me how anchor spaces that support certain experiences. I learned how to ground and protect space. I also picked up techniques for keeping malevolent energies from entering a home and ways to peacefully help them move them on if they became stuck. I also learned that there are any number of realities converging at once wherever you are. Portland, Oregon is a magical magical place.

Since our first son was born, I’ve had less and less time for intuitive and spiritual work. I no longer set out crystals, play with various entities, or just sit on the Earth to listen. Despite all the busy, I have been able to learn quite a bit about anchoring space from Bowie.

  1. Ancestral altars help me keep this home safe. My altar isn’t anything spectacular. It’s just a few pictures, favorite foods and some curios. But, I notice the more I ritually attend to the altar, the more my ancestors show up for me. This is a habit I can thankfully share with Lil Boo; who seems to love the altar in his own way. Feeling supported by folk on the other side while pregnant has been tremendously helpful.
  2. Spaces will tell/show you what they need when you take care of them. Taking care of them can look like regular cleaning, burning oils, bringing in fresh flowers or just being open to supporting the space in being it’s best brightest self. Everything enjoys loving connection. How you open to the door to connection is up to you. I don’t have to energy to scrub everything with apple cider vinegar, bleach or ammonia to clear things like I used to.  Smudging, burning certain oils and vacuuming has been my go to’s. Thankfully it has worked.
  3. Mother Earth is kind and plants you where you can blossom. Since moving here, I’ve had many different opportunities to become more of who I want to be. Although I think I’ve had this chance in various other places we’ve lived, there is something about Bowie where such opportunities feel easier to take advantage of. I am thankful to be here and have noticed that my gratitude helps things unfold.

I know this is just the beginning and all is unfolding. We’ll see what emerges as we continue to enjoy life here.

Until next time, take precious care!

Jeannette