There used to be a day and time, I could tell you almost anything. Past life, present life, your spouse, your cousin. Whatever it was, I could feel into it and tell you what you needed to know. Those days are gone.
Today, I’m happy to receive wisdom from the trees as I toddler chase. I’m not going to blame an intuitive loss on Motherhood. A good piece of it comes from being overwhelmed by all I sense around me. Running into untended anger, unhappy spirits and untended soul pieces that have been left to rot isn’t fun. It’s heavy. It hurts. However, it hurts more to not be able to hear and connect as I’d like.
This week, I’ll be focusing on honing my intuition. I’ll increase how long I meditate and spend more time at my ancestral altar. I’m curious to see what comes of these practices.
Last week’s exercise in gratitude was productive. The more thankful I am, the more I have to be thankful for. It’s amazing how positively life responds to just a little bit of gratitude.
Let’s see what the week brings <3
All my work with the trees has brought me into deeper connection with myself. Its been amazing, but quite challenging. I’ve found that I am great at listening to everyone else’s voice but mine. I can hear myself fine, but I don’t really listen. When I don’t honor my own wisdom chaos eventually ensues.
In hopes of increasing the peace, I’ve decided to focus on digging deeper into myself. For the next few weeks I’ll be practicing integrity. In this case, integrity means wholeness or unity. My intention is to bring a deeper sense of internal unity by honoring parts of me that I don’t listen to.
This will be an interesting journey. Let’s see what comes up.
One day, A tree said that I needed to root and ground into my treeness. The idea made not a damn lick of sense at the time, but slowly grew on me. It’s a beautiful thing to stay rooted and grounded in the essence of who you are; allowing your essence to blossom forth as your expression. It’s an ideal way of being.
How to remain connected with and rooted into my essence never seemed clear to me. Upon expressing my confusion, I was told to drink more water. Water would teach me how to stay in myself no matter what surrounds me. I drank water. I better understood the tree’s advice but, I was still having trouble physically applying the wisdom I was given.
Then shit happened and I fell off the face of the Earth 🤷🏿♀️
Three months later I feel closer to my treeness. The missing part was my emotions as a com link.
Emotions help me stay in integrity. They speak from the core of my being; helping me understand what needs to stay, what needs to go, and what I need more of. I cannot practice treeness- staying rooted and grounded in the essence of who I am without honoring my own internal communication system.
Das it. I just need to hear myself and honor my emotions.
As I honor my own emotions, it feels easier to accept others without being responsible for their happiness. What other people do is about them and their emotions. It’s not about me. What matters is that I remain rooted and grounded in myself. Whatever pops up I can navigate by being honest with myself and having faith in Mother Nature.
Honoring my emotions seems to allow for my needs always being met. Since I can be honest with my about what I need I can more easily receive it. It may not come as I expect but my needs are and always have been met.
My challenge this week is to better discern when I’m not moving from my essential self. Any emotion outside of joy or love is an indicator that I am not rooted into my essential self. So, when I do have feelings like anger, frustration, or fatigue, my challenge is to receive their wisdom and use said wisdom to return to my essential self. Or so the trees say 🙂 It feels important to grant myself grace and patience through out this process. However I am reminded that the more I practice, the easier it will be.
In order to support myself, I’ve been asked to drink more water. Water will show me discernment by modeling what it’s like to never lose my essential self, no matter what gets thrown into or at me. By remaining in my essential self, I’ll never be confused about who I am.
When I initially channeled this post it didn’t seem possible. This week it actually feels like a fun challenge. Now that I feel more strongly rooted into the core of myself; I look forward to better learning from my feelings and emotions.
Let’s see what comes up <3
Why again? Because last week kicked my ass. Honestly, the past few weeks have kicked my ass.
I would love to say my essence bubbled up easily and I was able to focus on it every morning until it oozed out my pores. What actually happed is that the trees gave me some qualities I had fun playing with in the shower. The rest of the day usually went to shit from there.
This week I’m going to try again. It feels good to know who I am at the core of my being. I need to focus on it more by making decisions that better align with and support it. I am learning that intention and energy is beautiful, but action is necessary. Feelings are nice, but I’d like concrete experiences to go along with all my feelings.
I’m not quite out the woods with my drama, but I am exploring concrete actions that align with my essential self (core frequency). Things are starting to ease up and feel better. Let’s see what unfolds from here.
So, here I am in the lovely St. Maur des fosses reconnecting with Nature.
Challenge 1: Eat better.
Since moving, my diet has been crap. I mean, my American diet was crap. Sadly, I’ve not shown too much improvement since arriving here 🙂
Here are my dietary goals for the week:
- Cut out the whiskey. I love whiskey. It makes me feel good, but if I’m hitting it every night I need to honor whatever I’m stifling rather than continuing to drink every night. It’s not good for me. It’s tasty though 😉
- Cut out the cheese. It feels so cruel to be in France and not indulge in cheese, but it’s messing me up.
For bonus points, I’ll cut my bread in take back to 1 serving a day.
Why am I messing with my diet?
I’m eating better because too much cheese fucks me up; all the way up. Not to mention, my intuition is much sharper when my diet is mainly fruits, veggies, rice and eggs. If I can’t hear Nature, I cannot build a harmonious connection with Her.
We’ll see how this comes together and what the trees have to say next week <3
Now, that we’re kinda settled, it’s time to reconnect with French Mother Nature <3. Feel free to follow me as I spend the next couple of weeks building a harmonious relationship with Local Green.
Wait, what does a harmonious relationship with the Green mean?
When I talk about The Green, I speak of the entirety of Nature that surrounds includes me: the lovely trees that whisper advice while I play with the boys, the beautiful flowers that giggle at me, the Marne (the local river) who reminds me to keep flowing. I’m also including the helpful hidden folk who take care of our living space and remind me to pick up trash. I’m also speaking of the local kitty committee, the birds and many other beings surrounding us.
Why seek a harmonious relationship with the green?
I feel disconnected from it. Honestly, I don’t think I can function without drawing closer to Nature. It soothes me and brings balance that I can’t seem to find any other way. Plus, Nature seems to have things pretty much figured out.
What do I expect this relationship to look like?
Unity, harmony and lots of shit talking. But seriously, I want to make choices that support Nature and myself in thriving. I’ve felt a space in the green where everything is in harmony. I want to expand that space so humanity knows it has a choice and that it can recognize itself as part of a larger intelligent being.
Okay, so how do you start?
Haha! Wherever the trees tell me to <3
See you next week!
Today was a bad Mama day. I woke up feeling all sorts of surly and wasn’t quite sure how we’d make it through. So, I did what I usually do on these days. I took the kids to the woods.
While chasing the eldest, I wondered how the trees did it. How do the trees keep standing strong with so much going on around them. Squirrels run through their branches. Vines grow all over them. Rabbits and other small rodents build nests at their feet. Insects eat their leaves. Birds peck at them. Parasitic plants grow all over their trunks and sometimes encircle their roots. Humans carve craziness into their trunks. Yet somehow, every day they manage to keep reaching for the sun; even when it’s cloudy. It all makes me feel quite inept as a human being.
Something in The Green heard me and answered my query. It told me, all nature just is. When I accept the nature of all being and allow things to be as they are, I will be able to stand through anything as well– until I don’t stand anymore. When I am no longer standing that will just be too. My problem, or rather what causes my confusion is the expectation that Motherhood is to be a certain way at any given moment. Things do not have to be any particular way. Everything just is.
Nope still not ready for that answer. I have many many many expectations about Motherhood and who I am supposed to be as a Mother. The Green has a great point though. There is peace in accepting things as they are. I wonder what I value more: peace or the pain of self judgment and censure. At the end, I’ll choose what I value more. I am realizing that I have all I need to engage what I most value– which include trees.
I love the trees <3
Hope things are being good to you.. Until next time