Ever since the rodents showed up, I’ve been on a bit of a tear. My altar has expanded. There are more altars around the house. I’ve recommenced cleaning and clearing practices that I haven’t used since my time in France. My yoga practice has restarted in earnest. And yet something feels off about my spiritual practice.
I’ve noticed that I’ve been buying all these things lately: semiprecious gemstones for griding the house and amplifying certain energies, statues, different colored candles for spells, lots of books and all sorts of herbs. Oddly enough, many of these things used to be with me. But when I moved to France, I let most of my spiritual accoutrement go.
Although it feels good to be “back” and to have the things I miss working with, I still wonder about the need to possess so much stuff. Is my connection to the Divine dependent upon whether I own a statue of Krishna, or is Krishna in my heart? Do I want to court and remain deeply connected to energies and entities that demand constant upkeep and worship that I am not sure I am always able to give? Did I mention the many altars in the house?
When I make offerings to my ancestors they often want me to tone it down. They remind me they don’t need so much and that we need to keep some for ourselves. They know the struggle of budgetary constraints with children. At the same time, I love them and can’t help but want to give. So I usually do.
However, my Grandmother (Mama G) has me wondering whether I am confusing actual spirituality with the trappings of consumerism. Having all the things really doesn’t matter, she offers. She says what’s in my heart and how I allow that to move me is what’s most important. I feel the truth of this in my bones and wonder whether most of my recent purchases come from guidance or a feeling of disconnection.
I mean, if I really truly felt secure in my connection, would I need to buy all the things? Maybe not, or maybe so. Who knows. I guess the point is that having all the things don’t bring me any closer to God. God is already within my heart. You can’t get much closer than there. I just need to relax and remember before I end up on Amazon.
Hope eclipse season is being good to you <3 Until next time