One day I woke up off. It felt like I was being driven by an unknown, unidentified deep seated fear that I’d not dealt with before. It inhabited the core of my being and violently radiated outward, like rhythmic earthquakes.
Was it the stress of being a SAHM with two young kids? Nope, this feeling was different from the special cocktail of exhaustion, stress and anxiety I enjoy on the daily. Nope. Could it be the fact that our ac went out or that the water filtration system was flooding? Nope, this feeling wasn’t related to money, change or the fact strange men were coming in and out the house. This feeling in my gut was more insidious than any temporary stress because it constantly drove me from the present moment. I could receive guidance but I couldn’t actually feel my connection to Mother Earth, which was killing me.
I cleaned the house. I re-grided the house. I visited the woods. I felt much better and then suddenly worse. I researched and purchased numerous crystals, prayed to Archangel Michael and started petitioning all that is divine and sacred to keep us all safe.
Then my Father asked me to slow down. He reminded me that safety is something that comes from the inside out. It comes from a connection Mother Earth. It comes from a connection to the Divine. It comes from being able and willing to hear the Divine who loves us, protects us, guides us and cares for us. Even though we all have agreements (that are constantly in negotiation) about when and how we will die, being safe is an inside, personal job.
Purchasing shit will not keep me safe. Our government won’t keep me safe. The police won’t keep me safe. Neither will guns, machetes or baseball bats named hotsauce. Shit, even as a parent, I can only keep the boys safe to a certain extent. (This is a fact I am coming to terms with.)
As I continue to freak out over recent events and what I feel coming down the pipe, I am constantly guided to remain grounded and connected. What keeps me safe, what will help us stay safe is connecting with the Divine.
We’ll see how things evolve. I hope the present Eclipse season is being good to you <3