Fear part 3: Feel what you feel, baby

Behind all the fear that has recently arisen there are many other emotions. As I prepare for sleep by deeply breathing my emotions offer suggestions and dissolve into darkness. Now that the intensity of all that fear has passed, I am left with a richness of inner wisdom to be applied to different areas of life. My challenge is.. well.. hearing and applying that inner wisdom.

Before my son started toddling I always had space for introspection. If I didn’t look within in the morning, I could always catch up with myself during nap time. Sometimes my husband would even watch Lil Boo so I could pontificate. Now, I can’t really hear myself over the dinners to be cooked, toddler to be chased, house to be cleaned, days to be planned, husband just arriving home from work, pregnancy cravings and the millions of other things that come up. There is so much external activity I feel challenged hearing what is going on inside of me.

More forceful emotional states like fear, anxiety and anger are easier to be aware of. They often shift my behavior without me even noticing. In the aftermath of whatever I grow through I usually spot the culprit. It’s the more subtle emotions I have a harder time connecting with in the moment because life is so full.

Even with everything going on, I’d like to cultivate more mindfulness. I find that emotions drive my behavior. When I am aware of what I am doing; I can usually discern what I am feeling. My challenge is to slow the pace and pay more attention. I don’t need to be driven by life. I can choose to live it mindfully instead. After all, it doesn’t feel right to race through life.

We’ll see how this all unfolds!

Until next time, take precious care!

J

 

 

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