I should preface this post by saying I hear… things… I hear things like the soul of the land, Ancestors, Spirits, Plants, Essences. Things like speaking to me. When I am really on, I see things. Occasionally I can feel things too. Things range from the emotions of others, to what the land is feeling. Sometimes I can feel the future unfurling–usually that comes with some sort of mystical disclaimer though. This has always been part of who I am, but has really kicked in over the last decade or so.
Being in my body is often overwhelming. On top of freaking out because being in my body can be an invitation to being fucked with, I hear, see, feel and know things that.. I did not ask to hear feel, see or know. Shit that people often don’t want to know about, discuss or deal with. So.. being outside of my body is like vacation. When I am actually engaged in my body and paying attention, the shit is like work and scary.
Which brings me to practicing discernment. One morning I was practicing listening to my body. As information emerged, I felt it and noticed where it came from. Then more information emerged. I felt it and noticed where it came from. Then I remembered the difference between how emotions feel, how thoughts feel and how info from the chakras feel. It all feels different, like words from a tree feels/sounds different from a river. Voices from different parts or versions of me (like little me or teenage me) all sound different as well.
It’s been a bit wild; rediscovering the village inside of and around me. I find that the more I listen to my body, the easier it is to hear myself. (Hearing my inner 5 year old is quite different from feeling what my back has to say.) When I hear myself I am able to be calmer and make better decisions.
There is still anxiety and fear. There is lots of guilt and shame. But, being able to hear it, I can discern what is actually me trying to make better decisions versus shit ingrained into me to “keep me in line”. There is a different.
Ironically, the voices I hear and energies I see/sense change when I am in my body too. Believe it or not, I am not barraged by stuff when I am in my body. My insight is much more focused and clear. And when things speak, it’s much more… kind.
We’ll see what continues to unfold. It’s kinda wild being back in my body. It’s been too long!
Take Precious Care of yourself!