I can’t help but notice the stark contrast between pregnancy #1 and pregnancy #2. No where is that contrast more evident than in my yoga practice.
For pregnancy #1 I was lucky enough to work with a friend who taught yoga. She crafted a number of simple practices to do each morning and evening. As my body evolved so did my prescribed yoga practice. At first, there were a number of standing postures meant to strengthen the back, square the hips and deepen the breath. Eventually, things mellowed to a seated sequence that centered around maha mudra and some pranayama.
My first pregnancy taught me a great deal about the subtitles of yoga. I learned that it’s the details of the practice that bring the greatest benefit. I also got to experience how applicable yoga can be. I found myself practicing pranayama in stressful situations, as I drove to the grocery store and when I couldn’t sleep. I feel like working with a teacher brought depth to my relationship to yoga. It was a truly lovely time.
Pregnancy #2 has been quite different. Working with a teacher this time was not an option. So, I did things for myself– which has been nice. In early pregnancy, when I wasn’t nauseous or tired I would do a 10 minute practice in the morning and evening. I found my choice in poses to be quite different from my previous pregnancy. However my practice still revolved around building strength in the back, refining the alignment of my hips and deepening the breath. My evening practice consisted of simple seated postures and inversions. I’m still not sure how I found it to practice twice a day durning the first trimester while chasing a toddler all day, but odder things have happened.
As I turn the corner of six months, my practice has become much more simple. In the morning I do a short pranayama practice accompanied with a couple of seated postures. In addition to working on my back and hips, I also seek to lengthen my sides a bit. In the evening, I breathe deeply and go to bed 🙂
This time, I find myself focusing more on the practical aspects of my yoga practice. I notice what facilitates my general wellbeing and stick to that. My practice has become pleasureful and educational in a different way. This time, it’s not the details of practice that amaze me. What I am consistently surprised by is how my practice anchors me into life and sets the tone for my day.
Until next time..
Take Precious Care
.. First trimester of pregnancy… feeling like shit… as expected… feeling a bit more evil than usual.. not quite expected… I don’t usually do evil.. But I am down right stabby.
What is unexpected is.. is watching myself getting ready to repeat a painful life pattern and trying to figure out how to make a different decision.
What’s the pattern: creating, finding, enjoying, building community….not just folks I know and publicly tolerate… but finding folks who fit all sorts of little parts of me.. supportive community that brings all sort of parts of me into expression and completion.. and then abandoning it.. for some reason or another.. sometimes.. the reason is graduation from College, or having to leave the country because I am impatient… other times the reason is petty as fuck. I have and can still be petty.
Here I sit now surrounded by black mothers. Yes it is a special heaven for me. And not just one type of Black Mother.. a variety of black women representing the richness that is the DMV 🙂 It’s a fucking party– every Wednesday. However we live in an expensive area where it can be challenging to find something nice. Do I stay here and find a way to find a needle in a haystack, or high tail it to an area further away, but more .. affordable.
This choice reminds me of all the bullshit things we tell our kids like, you’ll keep in touch with Jorge after he moves. He can come over and play or you can visit; earstwhile knowing that shit may or may not happen. Life situations change once we move. Keeping relationships is hard enough without adding kids, husbands, life and distance to the equation.
We won’t get into the schools or community portion of this situation.
I just feel like this shit is a theme in my life: I meet awesome as fuck folk and then bolt.
For once, I’d like to make a different decision. I am just not quite sure how 🙁
As I rolled over into a crazy bought of nausea coupled with some dizzy, I began to ponder what herbal and yogic combination I put together to make myself feel better.
I mean, I could double up on the ginger tea and introduce some peach leaves. I could do more standing postures. I have to research ways to rid myself of these… uncomfortable sensations that keep me on the couch watching Fixer Upper while my son runs around the room. I mean, I gotta do something.
Then the idea came to me. I will do nothing! I mean, pregnancy is not a disease. It won’t kill me. I’ll be uncomfortable for a while and then it will pass. Things will be okay.
If you are asking how that’s working for me, my head is swimming as I type :). But, I feel okay with this choice. I feel like being in my body, a pregnant body is an amazing miracle and I want to experience all I can. I don’t want to dull or avoid any of the “symptoms of pregnancy” because this is my last go around. I want to enjoy every little bit of it.
I am also beginning to feel like life is to be experienced the good and the bad; the pleasant and the painful. For once I am fully here and now. I don’t want to miss a thing. Events come and go, what makes them beneficial to us is our ability to experience them fully.
I say this now. Who knows what tomorrow will bring 🙂
Until then.. take precious care!