This week, my Mother in Law is visiting. She is amazing and Lil Boo adores her so much. Today, his first word upon waking from his nap was “Mamie” (Grandmother in French). Her joyful response was J’arrive (I’m coming). They are out strolling in the sunshine right now 🙂 She insisted that I stay at home and repose (rest)!
When she is around everyone is in a better mood. Somehow my husband seems less stressed about work, Huey naps longer and well…. I have less to do 🙂 I can actually see how family can work together in bringing each other joy and comfort. It’s a lovely, but strange feeling for me since my family isn’t really like that. We don’t cut each other, but we don’t necessarily take care of each other either. We aren’t all that close.
I find the idea of not working to earn her love or acceptance a bit baffling. I feel like I must be doing something for her, since it is simply awesome to not have to chase a toddler right now. All this space to feel like shit is amazing! I find the idea that she loves to be with her grandson comforting but strange. Not to say that my grandparents treated horribly, but yeah… Old Black Folk are usually tired and don’t have energy for ummmmm… the exuberant youth.
So, as I watch her whisk Lil Boo off to the park, I sit at home reminding myself that I am worthy of being loved whether I am slaving or now. I remind myself of how thankful I am that Lil Boo is loved by his Grandmother. I try to relax, enjoy being pregnant and find gratitude for all the loving care that I have received from her hands and heart.
Whenever she is around, my heart stretches and I learn more about just allowing myself to be loved. It’s disarming and uncomfortable. However, I know that it makes me a better person.
We’ll see what else unfolds from here.
Until next time.. take precious care!