This was an interesting week. The almost two year old now engages in deep breathing and is more willing to pick up his toys. The four year old actually had some quite chill moments. He also took to clearing his dishes from the table more often 🙂
I found that when I was committed to honoring my need for tranquility, the boys supported me.
I’m looking forward to finding more ways to peacefully parent 🙂
Until next time…
If you didn’t know, I am the mother of a 4 year old and an almost 2 year old. Life gets a little crazy. However, life does not have to be as crazy as I allow it to be. When I listen to myself there are little things I can do to that support the boys in growing up, while helping me create the serenity that I am missing.
My job this week is to remember the things that bring me serenity and parent in a way that protects those things.
For example, I love order. Instead of picking up all the toys all the time, I’m going to get the boys to do it. They are both capable. They need to learn to clean up after themselves more anyway.
I love clean. I’m going to ask the 4 year old for more help cleaning up. He’s capable of putting away his clean clothes and helping me to clear the dishes from the table.
I love peace. I’m going to institute some daily relaxation time, where we just breathe and be. Now, I don’t expect 30 minutes of meditation, but 5 minutes is a start.
This is a good start and a interesting practice <3 Let’s see where things go from here. Do you have anything important to you that you’d like to spend more time protecting? If so, what?
Somehow, compassion in the morning has become a practice. When I wake up fearing that I will lose the baby, or that something bad will happen, I stop listen to my fear and have compassion for it. Often the fear isn’t about being pregnant. It’s about something I feel that I’ve missed over the years.
It feels good to be sad about the past rather than wrestling with what I really think happened. When I wrestle with what happened, I get into intentions, my perception of events and a whole other mess of details that keep me from addressing how I really feel. I can intellectually understand why and how and what was done, but it doesn’t help me feel any less angry about it. When I actually hear my fear and embrace whatever comes with it I feel better. I honestly feel less angry and more like myself.
Feeling more like who I really am brought me to a conclusion. I really have and enjoy all the loving support I’ve wanted. It’s like I woke up surrounded by really interesting people who are supportive, kind and share my interests. Not to mention I still get to enjoy relationships that span more than half my lifetime. The man I love really does love me too. He wants me to be happy just like I want him to be happy. Not to mention there is this amazing little boy I get to watch grow into a man and another little one on the way. This is the life I wanted. I wanted to feel like I belong with and to beautiful loving people. I wanted to love them and be loved by them. I wanted to nurture life and watch it grow. I get to do all the things that I have most wanted. Why stay in a past that felt loveless when there is so much love right here?
Oddly enough, I still have feelings about the past. However those feelings don’t seem to overshadow the present as much anymore. The here and now seems so much more… juicy because I can feel the difference between what is and what was.
Well.. we’ll see what comes up next..until next time..
Take Precious Care,